This has been the least productive August and September since I discovered the outdoors, and it's taken me until today to fully admit that I am burned out. The things I use to define myself (hiker, runner, cyclist, wine nerd) all seem like a huge chore right now. I refused to believe it, comparing myself to ultra runners and other hardcore types who seem to never slow down, never stop. I work four days a week and have zero kids, for Pete's sake. I should be a lot more productive than I was when I had energy. Plus, there's a new house and a yard to enjoy/decorate. But when a two hour drive on a sunny day to an easy hike seems like a daunting thing and I'd rather sit in my back yard with my dogs, there is definitely something going on.
A coworker said I'm like one of those extreme hunter-gatherer types "You HUNT... then you sleep. Then you HUNT... then you sleep. Then you HUNT... then you sleep." It's kind of true that for the past few years I have loaded myself up with activities pretty much back to back depending on the season, so maybe I just need some dang rest. But also, getting injured before the marathon was psychologically difficult and that coupled with the whole house thing has just wiped me out. After the Enchantments I had the vague notion that I was done for the summer before it had really even gotten started, but I didn't realize that would actually be true. I've said that after nearly every tough solo trip. Though I felt fine on Mount Daniel, I've been heavy and sluggish on the bike and short runs. Basically, my fitness is a shit show right now.
Part of it is the completion of some big goals - I need that carrot to motivate me. Maybe it's no coincidence that I don't have a Winter 2014 Goals List posted dorkily on my refrigerator. My knees are still wrecked, and training for the Peterson Rumble and Sun Mountain 50K doesn't begin until December anyway. I despise those winter months, so I'm hoping that'll give me something to look forward to other than fake holiday bullshit and the disruption of my schedule. Also, there's sommelier certification to get cracking on. Wait, why the fuck am I sitting here whining...?
